Fruit-anasia

Fedup with that shrivled old prune in the bottom of your bowel of fruit, can't wait any longer for someone else to decide to eat it, well have you considered euthenising it.

The following are a couple of ideas if you like fruit but really can't be asked with the hassle of having to eat it.

• Borg Orange
• Fossil Orange

Cooking instructions to make a borg orange

Ingredients 1 - Orange 1 - Medium sized transparent polythene bag 1 square ft - Cooking foil

Requirements 1 -Ventilated kitchen with working electric or gas oven 1 - Pair of scissors or knife for cutting the polythene bag

Instructions

	Cut a series of 1" wide strips from a transparent polythene bag.
	Wrap orange in as many strips as are required for the thickness, a very thin strip can be tied round the package to prevent it from unraveling.
	Place on specially prepared disposable foil tray (one can be made from ordinary cooking foil by curling up the edges to prevent any liquid from escaping)
	Scatter other bits of polythene bag over and around the wrapped orange to generate 'interesting pattern'
	Remove other trays or objects used for food preparation from the oven to reduce the risk of contamination with any of the impurities in the polythene or being coated in exploded orange.
	Preheat oven to 300ºc or gas mark 4 for 10 minutes.
	Open kitchen windows and ensure any air circulation devises are in use so as to provide adequate ventilation for any vapor that may be driven of the polythene.
	Place tray in oven and cook for 2 - 5 minutes which should be enough to melt and fuse the polythene but not enough to destroy the orange.
	Remove from oven and allow to cool.

Warning - always use oven gloves when handling hot items from the cooker and do not handle the orange until you are certain that the polythene has set.

Fossilize your orange in plaster

Ingredients 1- Orange 1 - Small cardboard box 1.5 lb. - White dual purpose plaster powder Some water

Requirements 1 - Small bucket 1 - Mixing stick 1 - Sharp edged rectangular iron bar or a rasp 1 - Well ventilated area or garden

Instructions

	Mix plaster powder with water to suitable consistency.
	Pour about 1.5" of plaster into the cardboard box, making sure that all air bubbles are removed by tapping the box and dibbling it with the mixing stick.
	Press orange slightly into the bed of plaster again trying to ensure no air bubbles are trapped round the orange.
	Fill rest of box with plaster repeating the process to remove trapped air.
	Leave to set for 1 week
	Tear away cardboard
	Trim resulting block using a rectangular iron bar with suitable edge for finishing plaster.

Warning - plaster powder can be an irritant so you should adhere to any guidelines on the packet.